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| HORROR ATTACK IN VENTURA! DAMAGE REPORTS UNCERTAIN NEW YEAR BEGINS WITH UNSPEAKABLE EVIL |
| SPECIAL TO VAGABONDSURF.COM |
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| VENTURA, CA - January 1, 2003, saw a rising swell and Unspeakable Evil in this quiet coastal community. The Santa Ana winds were blowing, the Devil Winds as they are known inland and by high school truancy officers, and what should have been a fantastic start to a new year was well on its way. Suddenly out of the east came the awful visage of Apocalypse: some form of mutated insect apparently several stories tall reared up near the outer edge of the Pierpont area and began to make tracks in the direction of the California Street Holiday Inn, site of numerous surf cams. Damage and casualty reports failed to materialize in the local news outlets, so one can only assume the numbers were severe. Stealth bombers were reported to be in the air at one point, but were re-routed to do a flyover at the Rose Bowl game, which received a wonderful ovation. The only scientist available to comment (Joe Casual, BS/UCSB) speculated this bug must have undergone some form of atomic mutation vis a vis old 1950's sci-fi movies - perhaps from the radioactive wastes dropped into offshore trenches in the 40's and 50's and even yet possibly entering the food chain via the contaminated fish/bird cycle. Further updates as warranted. |
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